Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Dark Knight Returns deleted scene

Catwoman...

...is stealing jewels from a castle. She is interrupted by Queen Renaldi...

...who pulls off Catwoman's mask and cries "Mia Thermopolis! Princess! What are you doing?"

Just then Penguin attacks...

...threatening Mia with an umbrella sword. His attack is parried by the umbrella of Queen Renaldi, who is actually Mary Poppins.

An umbrella duel ensues but is interrupted when a taxi crashes through the castle wall, driven by Elaine O'Connor-Nardo...

...who knocks off Penguin's top hat to reveal that he's her dispatcher, Louie De Palma.

Suddenly Johnny Dangerously...

...dives through the window, kisses "Elaine" and announces that she's secretly Johnny's girlfriend Lil.

But we know he's really Batman.

Batman's identity is confirmed when Batgirl...

...puts a mask on him, only to have her own mask yanked off by Jorge...

...revealing her to be Lynn, who washed hair in Jorge's beauty shop.

All eyes are now on Jorge.

There's an awkward pause.

"All right," Jorge says as he yanks off his wig. "I'm Kevin Bacon."

Monday, July 23, 2012

Banjo joke on Star Trek: Voyager

To boldly pluck...

I just got a sci-fi banjo joke from 17 years ago and 67,000 light years away.

In the 2001 pilot episode ("Caretaker") for Star Trek: Voyager we learn the show's premise: Voyager is pulled across the galaxy by a mysterious caretaker and must make its way back home.

The caretaker assumes several forms, including that of an elderly banjo player...

Hello there stranger, how do you do?

...who plays a few licks here and there.

The joke (such as it is) occurs when the crew approaches approaches the banjo man asking as he's sitting on a lawn couch, plucking idly. I think he's playing "Go Home."

If you've got Netflix you can check for yourself around the 35:40 mark in Star Trek: Voyager in Watch Instantly.

Cross-posted at J.R.'s Banjo Hangout blog